PURGING FOR PEACE

"If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself."  Norman Vincent Peale

Slowly the year 2008 is creeping  to an end.... do something for yourself. ...Now is a good time to take inventory of your life, yourself..... Look around and inside yourself and see what is of no use to you, what is it that's in your way (old clothes, shoes, pictures, people)...I did some house cleaning this year(maybe a little longer than a year) but anyway I am finally rid of somethings (a lot of it was purely insecurity).... I had held on to stuff for so long until I felt that if  I tossed it out I would  toss out a piece of myself...It was just the opposite...By letting go of the old I discovered the new...Simple things that bring me joy....I am doing things that are purely for my enjoyment...It's okay to put self first (sometimes)....We can not enjoy life if we are not living life....This kind of goes back to an earlier entry where I talked about just being...Not being a mother, a sister or whatever but just being...I discovered by just being it helped me to get to know me...Don't  be fooled I love being a mom or whatever but knowing what's on the inside of me has made a world of difference...It has opened new doors.....It's made me a better me ...a happier me... Time is winding down there are only a few days left in '08 and now is as good a time as any to discover a new more exciting, happier you that is if you are feeling as if the world is passing you by....My final inventory tally was peace, joy and happiness...Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

DECISIONS

Recently some one asked me the question "Are all decisions the right decisions?" I sensed the urgency of my answer and the value the person had in my opinion....So with no hesitation I said: Some decisions we make we know  it's the right decision when we make it and others we may never know if it was the right decison ...Then I realized  this person was looking for comfort some kind of asssurance....Some decisions are just easy the hard ones are  the ones that make us question who we are.....Those are the ones that haunt us ....but too these are the ones that make us stronger....Like mistakes we learn from our decisions.....Decisions can bring comfort....Decisions can bring doubt.....Decisions can bring pain....A decision brings a conclusion.....So I don't know if it's so much the decision  itself....It's the end result of the decision that causes us to question.....Knowing the end result would surely change a lot of decisions but then where does that leave character...honesty.....When faced with another decision...not what dress or shoes or tie but a life changing decision....think about this....Jesus knew the end result....He knew the pain He would endure....He knew the suffering.....Yet He decided to hang on an old rugged cross and die for us.....So we too have to bear the burdens of our decisions......and yes they are not always easy, pretty decisions....but it will mean a conclusion.

STICK with What You Know

I have not posted anything new because my laptop( with all of my information) went blank. I could have moved on to another computer the working PC but I wanted to use "my" laptop....After several days of contemplating it came to me go with what's dependable....We often rely on the temporary (jobs, money, friends) until they run out then we look for something or someone who is reliable, dependable, stable, unchanging (this list could get pretty long)....In this day and time taking a chance on  a "quick fix" is so very dangerous....Nothing is "etched in stone" these days....Therefore we need to stay with what we know is dependable, reliable and unchanging....I have found one true dependable thing to stay with , hold on to, sick with... even when I don't see the big picture....I know that if I tust in God no matter how bleak the situation, how dark the night He will see me through....I know His Word is bond....My proposition...Put Jesus in control of your life let Him handle those situations that are totally out of your league...."I have never seen the righteous forsaken or His seed begging for bread."(Psalm 37:25b)....So if you need something that will not change on you....I recommend JESUS.

CHOICES

I know it's been awhile and you've been asking what's really going on? I've had so much stuff going on I literally had to cool down before posting somthing new. When we allow personal feelings to dictate over things that's out of  our control we need alone time. We let things and stuff upset us and it has nothing to do with us or should I say it's not about us. I am a firm believer that if God allows a door to close in your life He has something much bigger and better than the mind can fathom. It amazes me how we can't let go (sometimes). The only way I could calm down and let go was first to acknowledge it was not about me and the second thing " you reap what you sow."
What's the saying....change the things you can, accept the things you can't and Lord give me the strength to deal with the rest (just a little paraphrasing).
We must always keep in mind that the Lord gives us choices and it's up to us to make the right or best choice. Holding a grudge is not a good choice....not speaking to a neighbor or co-worker out of spite is not a good choice. The next time you are placed in a situation just remember you are a representative of a true, living , LOVING GOD so make the right choice.

IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE

Life lessons are hard knocks...I have had a few.(I have a permanent mark up side my head.) The one that taught me more than anything else was to learn how to smile when your world seems to be crumbling. I felt out of place in my everyday surroundings. I stuck to the old saying "never let them see you sweat"; on the inside I was blank but on the outside I wore a smile. I didn't see it then but later I realized how this one situation made me. It made me totally depend on God, it taught me how to smile in the midst of the storm and it taught me how to love my so called enemies.
I was much stronger than I thought I was. I know I was never alone. This was part of my journey. I don't believe it could have happened any other way. What appeared to be a mountain was only a pebble. I looked at my life much differently from that point on. I accepted that I was not in control of my life and if I wanted to survive I had to get rid of somethings and people that were toxic.
When we let go of the right things, no matter how dependent we are on it/them, we can then celebrate everyday living with a smile. So, don't let stumbling blocks hold you down. Don't let grudges steal your joy. Don't let heartache make you hate. The harder it is to let go the better the celebration. I charge you to take inventory of your life and get rid of anything that is causing you pain, mentally, physically or spiritually.

Ooops...Did I Say That ?

I've been working on how I respond to people. I have been called cold, cruel and a couple of other things that I care not to mention. People who I am cool with and a few I regard as friends have told me I need to watch "how" I respond to people. Pardon me, I just keep it real. Ask me a question and I'm going to answer. Ask me what I think and I'm going to tell you. "Say what you mean, mean what you say." I don't know who said that but that's the bottom line. I'd rather not have someone translate what I say because their interpertation may not be what I mean. The facial expressions and the body language that's another story. So, if you are comfortable with speaking your peace and it's not malicious and/or intented to cause harm say it and eliminate the possibility of someone saying what you didn't say.

WHAT'S MY PURPOSE

Everytime I hear someone say I know what my purpose in life is I cringe. Honestly ,I am searching everyday to find my purpose. Is purpose and passion the same? I know what my passion is but is it my purpose. If I never find my true purpose does it mean I failed or neglected something in my life. I wonder if many of us who are seeking our purpose in life have found it and use it everyday and just don't know it because it has become part of our everyday life. Sometimes we look so hard for something until we overlook it. How many times have you searched for your keys and they are right there in your face? Maybe I am overlooking my purpose. If I have helped someone along the way, if I have made someone smile, if I have done anything to make someone feel better or be a better person than maybe, just maybe I have fulfilled my purpose in life. So, if you are searching for your purpose in life stop looking for something huge and overwhelming and start looking at the little things. Your purpose might be staring you in the face.

SAY IT ANYWAY

Have you ever been in a situation where doing the right thing could cause you to lose someone you love? At least the perception is, by doing the right thing that person will fault you. Often when having to make a decision of this magnitude it is not really about the other person but about you. Suddenly we realize we are not sure if we want "the monkey on my back". If telling the truth will cause a few moments of heartaches and tears isn't it better than a life of misery? Sometimes being the bad guy is a good thing. I mean I'd rather be disliked for a moment than to watch a love one suffer for a long period of time. The truth hurts (sometimes). The truth is freedom. The truth is relief. We should never be afraid to "tell" a love one the truth about something we know may cause heartache or harm. It is then in their hands to make the right choice. Their choice may not be what we want. "When it is in your power, don't withhold good from the one to whom it is due." (Proverbs 3:27) We can only do the right thing if it is from the heart and not the head. If by poking your nose in somebody business is out of spite and it'll give you a good laugh or " I told you so", that is not a reason. Let us not forget "Do unto others as ye would have them do unto you." We can only be true to ourselves when we are true to the ones we love and care about.

NOT ABOUT ME

One of the most defining moments in my life was when my daughter,Alexis was diagnosed Autistic. I was totally lost, functional but lost. I could not understand, did not understand. WHY me why now? Suddenly I realized it was not about me. This was much bigger, bigger than the eyes could see or the ears could hear. Out of this I found peace, joy and happiness. Wait a minute, did I miss something you ask?
No, absolutely not. When I took me out of the equation and let a higher power (My GOD)control the situation then and only then could I see. He guided me to places and people I needed to work through this journey. It made me realize that when I am not focused on Him everything is out of control. He gave me the strength to be her strength. Through all of the bad days, the sleepless nights, the bouncing off the walls if you will, I wouldn't trade nothing for my journey. I guess what I'm really trying to say is don't sweat the small stuff even if the small stuff is a mountain. Now I understand: "Trials come to make you stronger." Don't let the situation control you, control the situation and God will handle the "small stuff."
Alexis is doing extremely well. She has come a long way and is making progress everyday.

OK, I SAID IT

I'm going to put myself out there...yes I'm single. The one thing I get tired of hearing is "WHY you don't have a man?" 'Cause I'm not looking for one.(Did you detect head moving and eyes rolling?) BREAKING NEWS: EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS NOT LOOKING. Have you ever thought that maybe we like being single. Or better yet we refuse to SETTLE . You know what they say I can do bad by myself.I DON'T need a man to complete me. I've already been made whole by the only ONE I need validation from. What I need, when I'm ready to allow a man in life, in my space, is a man who don't mind being my friend. I'm not hatin' because some of my best friends are married or in long term relationships. They are happy and I'm happy for them. The point I'm trying to make here is: it's okay to be single until you chose not to be. Oh yeah, one more thing because I don't have a man I'm not lonely or sad; I'm just waiting until I'M READY.

Who Are You?

Who are you ? A mother, a sister, a friend, a lover, a father, a son, a teacher, a teller, a barber, a banker of course the list could go on....but does it truly answer the question: Who are you? Of course these titles are a part of us but do they best describe who we are as a person? If so what does it say about us if we are not THE best friend , THE best father or THE best what ever. How can we define who we are by not being something to someone else.... There are times when WHAT I am is not WHO I want be....Is it safe to say that at times we are not sure who we are...As I write this I am searching for a way to best describe myself by not being anything to anybody because sometimes I want to just BE....STILL....JUST BE.....I guess I can say I am LIFE, I am LOVE the product of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.